The Week Before
This was my last week of studying.
I have for multiple months now been studying. In the summer it was every day. Wake up go to the coffee shop, read the billion books I bought to prepare, test myself, test myself, test myself, timed simulations every weekend. Then school started and my studying became a weekend practice. Every Saturday and Sunday I would spend 5 hours completing a timed test. As the test got closer I started having study dates with Miranda to work two times during the week.
And the last week came. I made Mom work on Arguments and Logic Games - my two most feared sections. I going into the test thought that Logic Games would be my weakest section - and it was. And I focused all of my attention on figuring out the rules, and completing the test until I got to the point that they were my favorite section, the section that with enough time I could get 100% in every time.
The Reading Comprehension section I had made a hundred on and I put it on the back burner. I'm an English teacher. This section didn't trouble me at all.
That leaves Arguments. I hated arguments because I felt like I should have been naturally good at it but I wasn't. This section had become my weakest. I was missing 5 or 6 every time I took it and I wasn't improving and my frustration was growing. Every time I went in, I felt like I was up against a system I didn't fully understand. So I researched fallacies and argument structures. I needed the formulas for how these little word arguments were constructed. It helped some. And then I asked Mom to help.
Going into this situation of practicing with Mom, I made copies of the book so that we each had our own sheets to mess up. I wanted to do Logic Games with her and Arguments. One to improve my timing and the other to understand them. I had a study date with Miranda the day before I met Mom and I told her that my mom was going to kick my butt. She always does, in everything. I'm waiting for when she is 70 and I'll finally be able to beat her at running. We met and it was one of the most helpful things in the entire studying process. We would do a page at a time (averaging 5 questions per page) going through and comparing answers, explaining why we missed different ones. She helped me understand the Arguments Section, helped me understand the tricks. She didn't beat at this point, but if we had studied together at the beginning I would have hated the experience. She maybe missed one or two more than me, maybe, and that's her coming into it without any practice.
The last week we had two more study dates where we did the exact same thing. One night it was a last minute call for help and she came out to help me work. It was her birthday (which I had forgotten - I forgot both parent's birthdays this year) and she came out to help. I am so appreciative, it just fills me up and there are no words to express her willingness to help, her support and care. I was freaking out this week, not processing my grief well, crying in my classroom, trying to straighten and clean it, as if that would make it better. She brought me a drink and I went out later that night and studied with a friend. I did it, but it wouldn't have happened without help.
I want to thank Miranda and Abby and Brooke and Vicki- my other study date partners and supporters. I couldn't have done this last week without them. I was torn up and torn down from everything happening at school and my community's loss. Without them to call, to meet, to get me out and to work, I don't think I could have or would have studied this week. You are such wonderful friends.
Thank you Rhys for watching my dogs while I went out of town.
And all the people who called me this last week to wish me well or sent me there support (I even had friends passing messages through friends). Thank you so much. It helped so much. I love my community. I have an amazing support network.
I have for multiple months now been studying. In the summer it was every day. Wake up go to the coffee shop, read the billion books I bought to prepare, test myself, test myself, test myself, timed simulations every weekend. Then school started and my studying became a weekend practice. Every Saturday and Sunday I would spend 5 hours completing a timed test. As the test got closer I started having study dates with Miranda to work two times during the week.
And the last week came. I made Mom work on Arguments and Logic Games - my two most feared sections. I going into the test thought that Logic Games would be my weakest section - and it was. And I focused all of my attention on figuring out the rules, and completing the test until I got to the point that they were my favorite section, the section that with enough time I could get 100% in every time.
The Reading Comprehension section I had made a hundred on and I put it on the back burner. I'm an English teacher. This section didn't trouble me at all.
That leaves Arguments. I hated arguments because I felt like I should have been naturally good at it but I wasn't. This section had become my weakest. I was missing 5 or 6 every time I took it and I wasn't improving and my frustration was growing. Every time I went in, I felt like I was up against a system I didn't fully understand. So I researched fallacies and argument structures. I needed the formulas for how these little word arguments were constructed. It helped some. And then I asked Mom to help.
Going into this situation of practicing with Mom, I made copies of the book so that we each had our own sheets to mess up. I wanted to do Logic Games with her and Arguments. One to improve my timing and the other to understand them. I had a study date with Miranda the day before I met Mom and I told her that my mom was going to kick my butt. She always does, in everything. I'm waiting for when she is 70 and I'll finally be able to beat her at running. We met and it was one of the most helpful things in the entire studying process. We would do a page at a time (averaging 5 questions per page) going through and comparing answers, explaining why we missed different ones. She helped me understand the Arguments Section, helped me understand the tricks. She didn't beat at this point, but if we had studied together at the beginning I would have hated the experience. She maybe missed one or two more than me, maybe, and that's her coming into it without any practice.
The last week we had two more study dates where we did the exact same thing. One night it was a last minute call for help and she came out to help me work. It was her birthday (which I had forgotten - I forgot both parent's birthdays this year) and she came out to help. I am so appreciative, it just fills me up and there are no words to express her willingness to help, her support and care. I was freaking out this week, not processing my grief well, crying in my classroom, trying to straighten and clean it, as if that would make it better. She brought me a drink and I went out later that night and studied with a friend. I did it, but it wouldn't have happened without help.
I want to thank Miranda and Abby and Brooke and Vicki- my other study date partners and supporters. I couldn't have done this last week without them. I was torn up and torn down from everything happening at school and my community's loss. Without them to call, to meet, to get me out and to work, I don't think I could have or would have studied this week. You are such wonderful friends.
Thank you Rhys for watching my dogs while I went out of town.
And all the people who called me this last week to wish me well or sent me there support (I even had friends passing messages through friends). Thank you so much. It helped so much. I love my community. I have an amazing support network.
posted by tayjay at 6:02 AM
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