Transcript from a text exchange with a friend

Him: Did you learn more about dudes getting punched in the face today at law school?
Me: Nope. But I did learn about long-arm statutes, the aggregate number of contacts warranting territorial jurisdiction over foreign nationalities, negligence per se vs. strict liability, and stipulation clauses for liquidated damages.
Him: Thanks for the rundown. I now have no lingering interest in becoming a lawyer. You have been instrumental in my future life plans. I may have been totally screwed without you.
Me: You're welcome. I'm off to go defend a hypothetical client's case regarding the implied warranty of fitness of food for human consumption, whose case is going to fail due to the lack of privity in the contractual relationship.